Kiss Him, Not Me
On a Journey to the Holy Land of Kachu Rabu
Th-This Saturday is the anniversary of the lord's death.
Huh?
The samurai that Kachu Rabu's lord was modeled after.
Hyakki Sametora. It's the anniversary of his death.
Sametora? They picked someone pretty rough.
They're holding a requiem mass for him at 7 AM.
So we wouldn't make it even if we left first thing in the morning.
The night bus is already all booked!
How about my helicopter, then?
No!
It'll be rude to his soul if I don't go by my own means!
This is...
A pilgrimage, after all!
Shenpai!
I'm so moved!
This time, I'll slum it just like you, and we can go together!
Shima-chan.
That was an insult just now, wasn't it?
I suppose we'll have to go a day early, in that case.
I think so. We'll have to search for a reasonable place to stay.
Wait!
You'll spend the night alone together?
What choice do we have?
I mean, you guys aren't interested, are you?
I am!
Can I go, too?
We're interested, too.
We want to go.
Then let's all go together!
All right!
Wow, it's so old-fashioned, it's refreshing!
It's got its own charm!
Yay! The bath's all ours!
Nana! Don't jump in!
Your nipples are so pink!
Sh-Shut up!
What's going on over there?!
One card left!
Reverse!
You're gonna play that?
And I'll play this. Draw 4.
You jerks!
You wanna go?!
I have your back, Nanashima-senpai!
Let's beat him silly!
All right, leave it to me!
Too easy!
Observe my pillow fight mastery!
Here we go.
Got it.
I-I'm sorry.
I-It's okay.
Are you okay?
Yes.
Shut up!
If you don't keep it down, I'll call the cops!
Hurry up and go to sleep!
Doesn't that reaction mean...
There are a lot of young women at this year's mass.
I wonder why?
Did they make an NHK drama about him?
It was an anime.
My lord.
Iga
Mu
Shi
Rest in peace.
Nana
That was such a sacred ceremony.
It feels like my soul was cleansed!
Let's go buy a good luck charm.
Oh, they have wooden plaques, too!
"I hope Akane-chan and his lord will live happily ever after.
Forever!"
Lord Love
Mine's done, too!
Don't you think something like that might be a bad idea?
What?
But, look.
So this is an anime plaque...
Oh, yeah? That's pretty interesting.
All right, then,
time to go see Akane-chan!
Look!
Treasure Hall
Flame Horned Vermilion Lacquered Armor
That sword mark!
It's proof that he protected his lord!
So cute! Akane!
I finally got to meet you, Akane-chan!
Priceless!
Too priceless!
All right, it's crowded, so keep on moving.
Akane-chan!
I want to stay with you longer!
Look, Sametora's portrait!
My lord, I love you!
So cute! So lovely!
He's the model?
I can't find a single point of similarity.
What exactly do those girls see right now?
All right, it's crowded, so keep on moving.
My lord!
I want to stay with you longer!
Now, now, you two.
How about seeing the real thing, not just a portrait?
The real thing?
It's his grave!
The lord rests here.
I'm sure he does!
My lord!
5 Minutes Later
15 Minutes Later
30 Minutes Later
Mu
Shi
Nana
Iga
U-Um...
How much longer?
Let's get going.
If I could, I'd stay with you forever.
I want to be by your side.
I'm sure you're hungry!
Let's go have some lunch.
At least let me take a pic!
Stop!
Yamada Restaurant
This is the best pilgrimage!
It's so perfect!
Look, look!
I've set it as my wallpaper.
Now I can see my lord any time.
That's great, Senpai.
That's like a bad omen.
But, only his headless corpse is there.
Sametora once fought a battle against his own son.
And after he won,
he appealed to have his son's life saved, even though he was in the enemy army.
His appeal was accepted,
but, in exchange, he was ordered to commit seppuku.
However, just before he cut his own stomach,
he learned that his son was already dead.
My lord!
How cruel!
In a fit of rage, Sametora cut down a group of generals,
and he was severely injured by their vassals.
But, he just would not die.
Ka
Ni
Iga
My lord!
Nana
Unforgivable!
In the end, they cut off his head.
And that head, laughing a laugh that sounded more like a scream,
flew to a small, local island.
Specifically, that one over there.
This is a ghost story?!
There's apparently a burial mound for the head there.
Nothing less from our Senpai! You're full of insights.
Well, we're done with lunch, after all.
Why not go?
Yup!
What?!
I wouldn't, if I were you.
There's a rumor that the island is cursed.
Folks from around here won't go near it.
Let's not, Serinuma—
That curse sounds perfect!
I hope I get cursed by my lord!
It'd be the best if we could be with the lord 24/7!
A-Are these the only boats they have?
They're so old and worn out!
Why swans?
They're two-seaters.
We'll split into pairs.
Pairs?!
There are six of us, so let's decide by doing rock, paper, scissors!
Ready, and...
No grudges!
Rock, paper, scissors!
I did it!
Happy to be with you.
Y-Yes!
Happy to be with you, Serinuma-san.
Well...
Let's have fun!
I haven't done this since elementary school.
Yeah, same here.
You know, Serinuma-san.
Um, sorry about last night.
Seriously, it wasn't on purpose.
Uh, yeah! I know that! I'm okay!
But, Serinuma-san...
Have you been avoiding me?
Do you dislike being close to me?
I do—
No, I m-mean, I don't dislike it!
I-I'm just not used to someone being that close.
So I was surprised!
Then...
Get used to it.
Okay?
Okay.
Something's...
...happening.
Let's go, Nishina!
Yeah!
Bloodlust!
You goddamn pervert!
I know you did something!
Fall overboard, Igarashi!
Wait!
Cut it out, it's dangerous! We'll fall!
Don't forget Serinuma-san's in here, too!
What are they doing?
Shinomiya-kun, feel free to take a break.
Let's take our time.
Shenpai...
Ba-dump
You're right.
Look how nice the weather is!
Huh?
Where did this come from?!
This is bad!
Wh-What's that?
A whirlpool?!
No way! Isn't this a lake?!
Help me!
I can't breathe!
Kiss Him, Not Me
Senpai!
Igarashi-senpai!
Thank goodness.
Is this that island?
Where's Serinuma-san?!
Not here.
Same with Mutsumi-senpai.
Dammit.
No good. It's broken.
Nanashima-senpai!
Nana!
Nana.
Nana!
He's not breathing!
If he goes on like this...
At this point, our only choice is mouth-to-mouth!
Do your best, Igarashi-senpai!
Huh?!
S-Serinuma-san.
Serinuma-san?
She's not breathing!
Do your best!
Looking good!
Deeper!
Let's try a different angle, here. Now!
Nishina! Why the hell are you taking pictures?!
And on your smartphone! So it's working!
Nana!
Priceless! Memories! Yes! Completely waterproof!
Where are we?
What a relief. Are you okay?
You were drowning and lost consciousness.
Do you want to see how you were saved?!
Forget that! Call the police!
No reception!
No Reception
Serinuma-san.
Serinuma-san!
Wake up!
I've got no choice.
I need to use mouth-to-mouth.
Squirt
Senpai!
Good, you're awake.
Huh? Wh-What happened?
What?! Th-Then we have to find everyone!
Hey!
Senpai!
Hey!
That's Serinuma-san's voice!
Over there!
They sounded like they were close, and yet...
Did we get lost?
No, we should be going in the right direction.
I know.
Let's leave marks as we go.
That's strange.
I was sure they were this way.
Still no sign of them?
It's...
How?
What's going on here?
This is strange.
Serinuma-san, let's go back for—
Serinuma-san!
She's burning up!
So cold...
With those wet clothes on,
she's going to keep losing body heat.
Serinuma-san, I'm sorry.
This is really weird!
Doesn't this mean we've been walking around in circles?!
We were walking in a straight line, though.
That's what makes this so weird!
Don't tell me...
We've been cursed?!
What's the matter, kids?
Shi
Nana
Ni
Iga
There's someone here!
Fuzzy wuzzy!
Her fever's gone down!
Serinuma-san, sorry!
I promise not to look!
Huh?
I...
Where am I?
Are you okay? You fainted.
What? Did I really?
I had a really nice dream.
I was being held by a big, soft cat.
He was so fluffy and warm!
I was so happy!
I-I see.
You really saved us out there!
Rest up until the rain stops.
Thank you very much.
It's so warm!
Um, we actually got separated from some friends.
Do you know any way we could contact them?
There's no need to contact them. You'll see them soon enough.
In the other world!
Senpai, look!
They look like fireballs!
Or am I just imagining things?!
No, they look that way to me, too.
Run!
Right!
My name is Hyakki Sametora.
Any fool who dares set foot here...
will only face death!
Go!
Senpai?
A good luck charm?!
I bought it at the shrine.
I never thought it'd actually work.
If that's the case, I bought a charm, too!
All right!
Academic Prowess
May those who preside over warriors be my vanguard!
Wow, it really works.
That was amazing, Serinuma-san.
I was once crazy about exorcists.
Any otaku with taste knows the nine-character incantations.
By the way, Seimei-sama is a bottom.
I-I see.
You worthless garbage!
Protection From Evil
I can't hold out much longer!
Senpai!
Akane-chan!
Lend me your power!
Sametora Flame-Horned Slugger!
Academic Prowess
Wh-What is this?!
Senpai, are you okay?
Serinuma-san, did you, just now...
Yup! It was the lord's special skill!
Unforgivable...
I will curse all you humans! You will all die!
No!
My lord, Hyakki Sametora, would never say such a thing!
The lord is just so cool and filled with love!
He may seem aloof at first glance,
but in reality, he thinks of his people above all else!
It's because he's that kind of person that everyone has that memorial for him.
And why everyone wishes that you rest in peace.
My lord—Sametora-sama—is our hero,
no, an eternal hero!
I...
I have gone down in history as such an esteemed figure?
You would do so much for me?
Then, that is how it shall be.
I am most satisfied.
My lord.
Serinuma-san! Mutsumi-senpai!
What a relief!
We finally found you!
You guys!
This island is cursed! We have to get out of here!
Yamada Restaurant
Huh? Poison mushrooms?
Really, I'm so sorry!
Mountain mushrooms from out back...
They looked like shiitake mushrooms, so I used them for lunch.
But apparently, they were mushrooms that make you hallucinate!
Don't you know how dangerous that is?!
I was in paradise until just now!
Hallucinogenic poison mushrooms?
Then, when we thought we were going in circles...
And meeting my lord...
And that mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
That really happened.
Wanna see the pics?
Why, you! Delete those pictures!
I refuse.
And I thought I got to meet my lord!
The lord?
Sounds like you guys got to see lots of different things!
A hallucination?
Let's leave it at that.
I wanna go somewhere!
Go, then.
You really don't get it.
I want to go to an amusement park,
or the beach, as a date.
I don't want to go anywhere hot. It's exhausting.
Then where would you go?
The zoo.
That's just as hot!
You seem like you'd definitely be late.
Just so you know, I'm always 15 minutes early wherever I go!
What a nag!
That kind of thing just drags everyone down.
Next Time: I'm at a Disadvantage
Look forward to it!!
And then, when you meet everyone,
you say that obvious line like, “I haven't been waiting at all” and like—